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In order to get to the AOL Members Directory you should click on the People icon on the welcome page once you sign on.
On the AOL people conncection page you will see the "member directory." Click on that, which is near the top, and you will be asked to enter the information that you have.
AOL can be reached by telephone. The customer service number is 1-800-827-6364.
Once you are connected you will be asked the nature of your call.
Have patience, there are a lot of prompts to answer before you speak to a live person.
You may have to wait a fair amount of time.